Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to

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(480): View more from Arizona

You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone

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(513): View more from Ohio

I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.

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(229): View more from Georgia

I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.

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(512): View more from Texas

I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing

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(515): View more from Iowa

At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.

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(319): View more from Iowa

the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Wanna go on a picnic?

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?

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