do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My balls are so social today.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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