I wish life had little blips of pornography
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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