And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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