And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
