an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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