i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if only i could text you this smell
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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