walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
