i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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