no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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