Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
