My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
