i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
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