Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
