i think my tv is drunk
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
