Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
