why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
