he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
