Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
