I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize