I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
