I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
