i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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