his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
