Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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