I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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