..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
