I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
