lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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