What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
