return my video game
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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