you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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