Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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