everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
