fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
