If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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