normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
