Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
