Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
