All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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