my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize