the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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