either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
