fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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