i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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