The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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