I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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