We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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