Pappa wants mamma naked
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
