just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I would ride that face into the sunset
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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