I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
