btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
