His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
