so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
