so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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