I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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