it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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