You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize