recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
