she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My cat gives me a boner
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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